Best Birthday Ever

I have to capture this year....I think it was my best birthday ever. Aaron really went all out this year. Although, I think I figured out why...he just wants a big deal made out ohis 30th next year. Just joking, I know he would have done it no matter what. So everyone probably already read about last weekend, well after all that, I wasn't expecting a thing for my birthday. First, the first gift I got for my birthday was a surprise of Fran showing up at my work with a balloon bouquet. It had this "Over the Hill" balloon in it, so I think maybe the people at the store gave her the wrong one! lol Then i got home, and my wonderful mother-in-law had sent me flowers and a balloon - they are beautiful Denise (and Harold) - thank you. So that would have been more than I was expecting right there, but then as I walk in the house, this wonderful aroma hits me. Aaron had prepared my favorite meal from our FAVORITE restaurant. So last night for dinner, I had Shrimp Atescedero (bacon wrapped in wing sauce, dip in ranch....mmmmm sooooo good), then salad wedge with tomato, blue cheese crumbles, and ranch, then jalapeno twice baked potato and a fillet!!! Then for desert a chocolate cake! All from scratch, all made by himself. Wow....and I mean every single bite was scrumptious!
This is the stuff of fairy tales ladies - but it is real life. I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I know not everyone gets this in life. This is a five star resort, now lots of people settle for staying in the Super 8, and hey, it meets the basic needs- but compared to this resort..... I wish everyone could experience it, but just so everyone knows, men like Aaron aren't a figment of the imagination, they are real.
Famous quote of the day: last night we were talking about when Mackenzie grows up and she told me that she wanted to be our neighbor when she was older (whew - better than saying she wanted to live in our basement forever!), and then Turner was saying he wanted to be a firefighter, and Mackenzie said she wanted to be a "fidghter fighter" too, and then she turned to me and said "What do you want to be when you grow up mommy?" Hmmmm, I'll have to think about that sweetheart...what do I want to be when I "grow up"???

A New Angel in Heaven

I just checked....poor Tuesday died yesterday. How can a life of a girl I've never knew, the words of parents I will never meet...tear me and rip me apart so rawly. I sit here sobbing uncontrolably, barely able to see through my tears. How do you go on. How do you hold your child as they die in your arms. How do you tell them it is ok to go. How do you comfort their siblings. How do you face the world the next day. It is so unfair. That DAMN cancer...I HATE YOU, I WISH YOU WOULD GO AWAY FOREVER. God help me if I ever meet you because I will destroy you. So why do I do this, why even follow the story knowing that it won't have a happy ending. I don't know. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment, maybe just to remind me of how precious life truly is, maybe to remind me to just sit and hold my babies and never let them go. I've read before, there is no word for a parent who has lost a child. People who lose a spouse are widowed, children who lose a parent are orphaned...but what do we call someone who has lost a child. Why has this never been "named". Possibly because the word would be so painful to hear that we can't even imagine. Those of us lucky enough to have never experienced the pain will forever be on the outside, neverable to comprehend. There is no word I can think of that even does justice to how awful it would be. To look at my healthy children playing in the living room right now, without a care in the world, and to think that they to, or me, or you, could have this silent killer inside and tomorrow it could reveal itself....but I would rather live with the unknown forever than to ever know the worst. God be with this family and all the others out there that are grieving the loss of a child.

Like a fine bottle of wine

Well at least I think i'm getting better with age. Compared to HS years - oh yeah, compared to me at 20 - well at least I'm not an alcoholic anymore (lol) - compared to 25 - much calmer and more well rounded. So will I continue to get better or is it all downhill from here? My personal opinion...I know I have at least another good 5 years upward still, will re-evaluate at 35! lol I'm livin the life right now, things are good. Got me a good husband, good kids, good friends. So what will I be doing different now that I'm 30, well, I think if my 20s were building my family, my 30s will be building my career. Of course, not over family, but you know. And I'm not naive, I know I will change dramatically still over the years. Gosh, to look back at being 20 and realize I didn't have a clue who I was then. I think I've got a pretty good grasp on it, but I know it is all perspective and at 40 I'm going to look back and say "and I thought I knew who I was at 30 - ha" These years are going to be the best years of my life I think. I have an idea of who I am, who I want to be. My life is steady and i have a strong support system built in that I think can handle any things thrown our way. I'll watch the kids grow up into little kids - but they will still be young enough in this decade to like me (the next decade is a whole different story!). I'll get my Masters, hopefully excel in my career. Speaking of which, so much work to do right now and I'd like to get home sometime today........so until next time.

Snow Day!

Work got snowed out today!!!! Yippeee...so that means lots of fun in the sun around here. It is like turning in to a kid all over again. I could stay out there all day. We've played in the front yard and hope to go someplace to go sledding a little later. No snowmen though, as the snow is like fine powder.....oh how I LOVE the snow. Grandma and Pop, you've got to miss this?!

The perfect snow!!!

Hmmm Turner, I'm not sure how this is going to work out for you??

Ahhh, now that makes more sense!

Making angels - my favorite snow activity.

Hey guys, better make sure that snow isn't yellow!

Aaron shoveling, oh wait that's a rake.....Aaron RAKING the driveway.

Right before I forced them inside with those rosey red cheeks.

Aaron started school, I'm sick, and lots of snow

Finally we got some snow! Pam must have brought it down from Iowa with her. Thanks Pam. I was beginning to worry we were going to get through the whole winter without a decent snow - that just wouldn't have been right now would it. So today Aaron let Mackenzie and Turner go outside and play, and I think tomorrow might bring about a little sledding time! Yippee!
Aaron started his first class on Monday night. He said it was interesting and seemed to like it. My class got cancelled for tonight, which actually kinda stinks because it means next week I have class on Tues AND Thurs.
And lastly, I'm sick. This cold is settled in my throat. So annoying, can't stop coughing, and especially at night, I'm beat down. Work has been super busy - sorry for the lack of updates and emails. Not too much else around here...thinking it is time for some R&R on the couch watching our fire we've got going and turning on a good show. Sleep tight everyone!

Surprise b-day party

Last night I had a surprise birthday party at the Jive and Wail. We had a good time. I didn't drink much, still fighting this cold, but I had a lot of entertainment and a GREAT time with great friends. Thanks to everyone who made the effort to come out for little old me!!

Me and my bro....he was RIdiculous by the end of the night!

Scott and Cheri, neighbors, friends, and long lost cousins (Cheri found lots of Livelys and Turner Livelys in her genealogy)

Nick, Will, (Aaron's 2 oldest/best friends) Dawn, Jenna (wife/fiance')

Stacy and Casey (Aaron's roommate from Columbia and his girlfriend)

Sam (neighbor), Kelly, Bill, Jennifer, Todd (friends from work)

My momma (drove all the way by herself) - thanks mom, meant a lot for you to be there!

Pam (H.S. friend) - drove ALL the way from DesMoines by herself and left 2 sick girls at home and now has to drive all the way back home today in the snow - so sorry sweetheart, but so glad you were here!!

Also had an old friend from College - Hatter and Mike - but didn't get a picture on my camera with them. They drove up all the way from Lake of the Ozarks and then drove all the way back last night too. I hadn't seen Hatter in about, gosh, maybe 2 years - it was SUCH a surprise.

Also another of Aaron's friends came up, Erich Mosanyi - the FUNNIEST person I've ever been around, truly entertaining. I'm trying to get him to start his own blog - so stay tuned, I'll give him a shout out if he does! lol

Thank you everyone for making my 30th such a special day. Thanks to my honey for setting it all up. Thank you for all the gifts - totally didn't need to do that! I love you guys, you're the BEST!!

(I am still going to enjoy this last week in my 20's though)

Ahhhhh

Yesterday I had a super busy day at work. Never got a chance to come up for air, or lunch, but it was a good day. Needless to say though, I was a little exhausted and hungry by the end of the day. I'm fighting off a cold too, so that plays in. Anyways, opened the door to come in and this is what I saw....

That's right...I have the best husband in the world. I must say, 100 tea lights lit up in my house looks gorgeous. These pictures don't do it a bit of justice. I rounded the corner to find dinner on the table, an open bottle of wine, and a single long stem red rose. Dinner was absolutely delicious, cannelloni and garlic bread. I know I know ladies...I don't know what I did to deserve him either...if I could clone him I would. Maybe we should set up a "Husbands 101" course for Aaron's first teaching class!! Sorry, I don't mean to brag...but I gotta brag! lol Now go back up to the pictures and try to figure out what is missing........................................................................did you figure it out?? It's the kids....yeap, Aaron arranged for them to go to Grandpy's to stay for the weekend. Ahhhhh, silence is such a beautiful sound. Now of course I miss them, but I'm not above enjoying some time having only myself to worry about. So what did we do last night? I'll spare you some details..hee hee..but by 6:30 I was chillin on the couch, watching TV and dozing in and out. I know, exciting huh, but us old people need our sleep. Woke up from about 11 to 2, did some school reading, went to bed. Got to sleep in till 7 - that 2 hours of sleeping in - and now get to work on my term paper for school. Hopefully with the time to focus on it directly I'll be able to get a pretty good chunk complete.

To Fran

Fran, I know that you don't have phone service, but you said today that you have the laptop, so maybe you are checking here and I can write more than a text. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I haven't been in your shoes, but can only imagine in my nightmares what it might be like. I want you to know, I'm here for you no matter what. If you give me the call, I'll be there. I have a plane ticket in my safe here at home and all I have to do is book a flight. Yes I am busy, but family and friends come above all, so don't hesitate. It is so hard to be so far and so helpless in helping you, but I know you have your ring of sisters tight around you, so you are taken care of. I don't have many friends, I mean the true friends that I'd give anything to and know they would do the same in return, but you are one of few. Since I met you it is like we are fraternal twins, almost like we are exact opposites at times, but yet came from the same womb. I'm thinking about you and sending my thoughts your way. Love you girl, hang in there.

For anyone wondering, Fran's dad had surgery this week and is having complications; she is in NY.

Just wanted to post a few pictures. The other morning Austin started participating in our morning rituals around here....Lay on the couch, strawberry milk, and Dora....one of the biggest constants in our lives. Doesn't he just look so grown up.

Ahhh, don't you just love when kids start feeding themselves! Don't worry, tonight was bathtime, so he was properly cleaned afterwards, but hey, he's got to practice to get it down good!

"here mommy, you want some?"

"oh fine then, I'll eat it myself"

"hmmm this is much more effective"

Today some pans came in the mail for Mackenzie's Easy Bake (we got hers from a garage sale and the pans were missing) so of course we HAD to make cookies tonight. I just love that she has to put on full uniform ...like it is just a given that she has to have it on to bake!

My GOOFY kids!!!

I'm alive

Just figured I hadn't posted in so long so I'd better give a quick update to let everyone know I'm still here. Don't think that I posted Austin's stats from his 1 year check-up

Height: 29 3/4 inches - 50%
Weight: 24 lb 14 oz - 80%
Head: 18.75 inches - 88%

He is totally walking now. He also has pretty much all his front teeth and already has at least 2 of his molars coming in - might be all 4. And he is a talker!
Mackenzie is doing good. Loves being back in school from Christmas break. We had thought about pulling her from gymnastics for a few months because of the craziness with school and soccer will be starting soon, but she loves it so much I just can't bring myself to do it - so we are going to keep trying to make it. Last night she broke down on the phone to me while I was on my way to school that she wanted me to come home, Broke my heart, but finally got her calmed down and distracted. She ended up waiting up for me till I got home and we got a little one on one time last night. She is still getting more and more beautiful everyday.
Turner is still our little guy. The other night we had to go up to ToysRUs to return some things, and the kids were in pure amazement! Guess we haven't really ever taken them to the "Toy store"! He just kept on saying he wanted a train, then when he saw the train table they had set up, said he wanted it. When we replied with "But you have a train table at home" he replied with the "but not this one, I reeeeaaaallly want it". And then from there all the way around the store we just kept hearing I really want this, I really want this, I really want this. Ended up making it out of there with a little car - whew, crisis diverted! lol It was so cute though and just another instance that really made me see just how grown up they are. Reminds me of times I can remember being a kid. Yes, I'm almost 30, but I CAN still remember being a kid!lol

Work has been crazy, my boss is leaving so there is a transfer of activities and management. Some good, some need some more getting used to. School is good. I pretty much have my 10 pager done. I really enjoy my classes though and have gotten the "you bring up a really good point" a few times - once a teachers pet always a teachers pet! lol No really, not trying to be a kiss up, I'm actually just really interested and what I'm learning is very practical to my everyday situations. Anyways - gotta go, lots of work today and start meetings in 30 minutes to last all day. Take care!

Safe!

So we had our meeting today and luckily none of my group is affected....thank goodness. So it seems like I'm on the right life boat at this point. We are still on a small life boat out in the big vast ocean and could ram an iceberg at any moment, but for now, I'm on a lifeboat. And I'm hoping that school will kind of be like an extra life jacket that I'm trying to put on. Of course neither is fail safe, but both help. One day at a time, one day at a time....and today I have a job. It was nice to see the kids tonight, I hadn't seen them since Monday night. Seems that Austin decided in that short period that he is a true walker now. He didn't hardly crawl at all tonight...so weird! When i got home he was down the hall on the floor playing, and I went in the kitchen to put my stuff down and turned around and there he was walking up to me!!!
Started school last night. I was really in to it. I have a really good teacher who engages us in discussion more than just lecturing. Still have to get on these papers, that is my plan as soon as I get done typing this. Oh, and another thing I forgot to tell everyone....our house is off limits for the next year and a half! OK, it doesn't have to be totally off limits, but by gosh - NO DROP-INS! Lets just say my house doesn't exactly hold up my level of cleanliness right now. So please, unless you want to send me in to major panic mode and super stress, call ahead! lol

It is never good to get a meeting appointment set to your group with no information attached, and then see this:

Pfizer Plans to Lay Off Up to 800 Researchers
Pfizer Inc. is laying off as many as 800 researchers in a tacit admission that its laboratories have failed to live up to the tens of billions of dollars it has poured into them in recent years.
The world's largest pharmaceutical company by sales Tuesday told scientists and technicians at its labs around the world that it is eliminating their jobs, according to a person familiar with the matter. By year end, the New York drug maker expects to have laid off 5% to 8% of its 10,000 research employees, according to Martin Mackay, who heads Pfizer's research and development.

Meeting is tomorrow at 3:30 so I guess by Thurs morning I should be able to share more. Please cross your fingers.

My Young Buck

Today is Aaron's birthday - Happy birthday honey! He is still a young buck at 29 and I'm sure he won't let me live it down this whole year that he is still in his 20s! The kids and I made him a Butterfinger dessert last night, and this morning I went out and got him breakfast from Hardees for when he woke up. Unfortunately I won't be home to see him for his birthday, I have school tonight till 10. Last night Mackenzie gave me a guilt trip about it saying "I thought everyone was ALWAYS home when it was your family's birthday!" And just right now I just looked at the calendar and wouldn't you know it that her birthday is on a Tuesday too:( I guess I'll just have to take that day off work then so I can be home with her on her birthday.

I got the kids pictures taken this weekend. Seems like I hadn't gotten them done in forever and didn't want it to get missed. I LOVE having pics of the kids. Even when I don't get great ones, we always end up with good ones...I mean how could you not with these subjects! Don't spend much money on it either, just get enough for me to have the moment captured. Here are my favorites (but I didn't get them all, just one of each kid with their number and the one of all 3 together).

"yeah - I'm ONE!!!"

"Oh no - I'm ONE!" :(

"I guess I'll just go with it."

"hmmmm, how long do you think I can keep mommy at my beck and call with this look?"

"Really, with these good looks, do I need much more?"

"Here's a little close up for you ladies - irresistible"
"I'm so over this!"
(this is the look that I'm sure will keep those girls clammering for him - you know, the "whatever" look!)"I'm cute, I know it"

"well not just cute, I'm absolutely beautiful"

"Oh mommy, we love you"

Hope you enjoyed!

A Small Confession

OK, So I have a small confession. Almost no one knows about this, I've been hesitant to talk about it just in case things changed on me, and I needed a little time to get used to the idea myself. So here it goes....everyone knows that last week Aaron went around to get enrolled in his teaching program (he is enrolled and starts this week or next). Well, funny thing....I enrolled too! Not in a teaching program, but in an MBA program. Yeap, I'm going for my Masters. It was kind of decided on a whim, just found a program I couldn't refuse, and it is the best thing I can do career wise in the next year. I basically told NY&Co that I couldn't work during the week anymore. I think my boss there summed it up the best...."OK let me get this straight, you are going back to school, have two jobs, and three kids, your F'ing CRAZY girl!" And after having my first class yesterday, I totally agree with her! lol I want everyone to know what is going on because for the next year and a half, no one will probably see or hear from me much. Every spare moment I have free will be spent reading, researching or writing. The class is only 1 night a week on Tuesdays (Aaron has class M, W, Th) but it is very intensive of 9 credit hours over a 12 week period, so lots of out of class work. For example, I just had my first class yesterday, and before hand I had to read 200 pages, and write a short 2 page paper. By class on Tuesday I have another 100 pages to read, and over the next 12 weeks I have 1 ~20 page research paper, a ~10 page research paper, 3 ~5 page papers, 1 out of class activity with 2 page summary, 1 hour long classroom presentation/lead a topic, 1 30 minute research paper presentation, and my final. When, you ask, will I get this all done? I'm still trying to figure that one out myself! Some of it will come from the extra 2 hours I get by making what is now a standard 8 o'clock pot of coffee, and then literally, I can't waste a moment of time. Even typing this, I feel like time is ticking by. So bear with me through this all. Don't think I'm ignoring you, or being withdrawn...I'm just SUPER busy.
On the bright side, I can't fail...my family needs this, I need to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it, and I want to be a positive example for my kids. I will be done in 15-18 months, depending on some financial stuff, but we are anticipating that Aaron and I may be able to walk together in Graduation both receiving our Masters next summer/fall!! Wow, what an accomplishment that would be and how proud I would be of ourselves.
And to top it all off...we also got Cameron enrolled in school, and he got a second job....so all is good, but very busy around here!

Join my Party

Enjoy!!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy Birthday Austin!

My little guy is one whole year old today. Click here to read back on his "birthday" story. I'm so glad I have all these details captured. Austin, you melt my heart. I cannot imagine our family without you. You came sooner than we were trying to plan for, but thank goodness for surprises, because I can't think of a better one. Everything about your life has given me pure joy. Your smile and cuddles melt my heart. Your laugh is contagious. Your attitude is adorable. I love the way you have the little wobbly duck walk right now. I love the way you push out your bottom lip to pout when something gets taken away from you. I love how you try to dive off my lap in full clothes to get in the bath, and how you cry when you see me get the towel ready. I love your big smiles and grins in the morning. I love to hear you babble your stories all day long. I love how you rub your sleepy little eyes and whimper when you are tired. I love how you watch your big brother and sister in admiration. I love how you have to give everyone a hug before you go to bed at night. I love that you love your daddy, but are still a mommas boy too. I love your fat little feet and big chubby cheeks. I love how you always crawl with your left hand in a fist and your right hand palm down. I love how you know that brother and sister's milk is different than yours, and will drop your cup and pick theirs up in a nanosecond - our little "milk swiper" as we call you. I love that you are such a good sleeper. I love how you don't have to be sick or tired to lay your head on my shoulder for lovin'. I love that you just the right mix of being independent, but still needing your mommy. I love those big blue eyes. I love how you hate mashed potatoes, no matter how many times I try to sneak them in (one day you'll love them). I love that you look like your daddy. I love that you remind me of your sister. I love that you are all boy like your brother. I love that you are so uniquely different from each of them. I love that you have made this past year one of the best of my life. I love that you will make every year of my life one of the best. I love that you are my son, that I get to be responsible for the amazing child you are. I love that you have made me a better person, a better mother. I love that you are growing into such a little boy...but I hate that you are growing into a little boy. But as I've taught your brother and sister before you, recite after me "even when I get big and am a daddy, I'll always be Mommy's baby boy!" We love you Austin, Happy First Birthday!!!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Back to the daily grind

Tomorrow I'm back to the daily grind...and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I like order, and the past 2 weeks have not been that. I don't HAVE to have order so much that I haven't enjoyed my time, but I like routine. Plus I do better mentally and physically when I'm busy. i feel like I've grown into the New Year Blimp over the past two weeks. I'm so undisciplined at home with all the goodies. On the other hand though, I know that I will miss the kids as soon as I get there and be exhausted and home sick after going back to the 7 day work week. But I am going to try to take off most, if not all of my birthday weekend, so I know I only have a month, I can do that. Tomorrow Aaron is going to the colleges to get all his necessary information so we can hopefully make a final decision and plans. We've been in kind of a state of limbo here. Friday Aaron got on a whim and decided that now was the time to expand our patio. Boy I bet he is regretting that whim right now! Actually, it is going to be well worth it and will look great. Cameron and Aaron have been working their tail ends off the past two days digging and hauling. I can't wait until it is finished. it will give us a lot more room in the back for our fire pit, table/chairs, sandbox and grill.

I wonder what 2009 has in store

2008 was such a wonderful year, and a lot of change took place. I am only expecting 2009 to bring around the same kind of excitement! Minus a baby, well I guess I better hold my words till March before I can really say that (kidding honey kidding....but no really you never know) I'm thinking this year is going to be coined "the year of the school". I know sounds silly right, but chances are Aaron is going back to school, I've been giving serious thought to starting an MBA program in the fall, and Mackenzie starts Kindergarten! Suddenly we aren't going to be the ones with 3 little kids at home, our kids are growing up. Soon we won't have any babies around. Here is where I ask - no beg - would some of you friends out there start popping them out then randomly drop them off with Aunt Jen!!! Come on, what are friends for, I think I'm a pretty good friend, this is your way of holding up the bargain! lol

So 1 week away from my baby being 1. Although of course I am excited, it doesn't mean that i haven't shed a few tears over the fact. I think that the hardest thing is going to be turning around his car seat. It is just that physical proof that he is getting all grown up. He isn't going to know what to do being able to see more than just Turner in the car. But in the same, I'm sure he will miss his big brother because Turner is always talking to him and making him laugh. The other physical proof I have is that he is off of formula now, and all on milk. Just weird, doesn't seem like it should be time yet. So if anyone could just figure out a way to stop the clock for a little bit this week so it doesn't creep up on me, that would be fantastic! I don't think we are going to do much, just Mackenzie and I are making him a cake at home, and we'll all sing and watch and take a bunch of pictures!
New Year's Eve was great. Our neighbors came over for the night, and we had a few friends stop by briefly. We got Rock Band the night before and I think I can truthfully say that everyone got in to it. I even stayed up till past midnight - someone might want to write that down in the books! Hope everyone is going in to 2009 with as much joy and excitement as we are!