The boys went to the doctor's today. Seems it is just a really bad cold. Good news that it is nothing serious, but hard to know that there isn't anything or any medicine to give them to help them feel better. We were just sent home to ride it out. Turner did stop his fever today. Austin started his about 18 hours after Turner, so he is a little behind, so Austin still has a fever, but I'm hoping it is ready to break soon. But he sounds and looks so awful. I just want to cry every time he coughs, it sounds so horrible and I can tell that he is so uncomfortable.
Of course by the end of the afternoon, I started feeling like I'm starting to come down with it. But I loaded myself up with meds and feel alright right now. We'll see how tomorrow goes. But since I've taken off for sick kiddos, no taking off for myself to be sick. That is the life of a mom.
It was a very busy day today. Stay tuned tomorrow to see how everyone is doing.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Still Sick
The boys are still sick, have an awful cough, runny noses, still having fever (yes it's been since Thurs/Friday). It is so sad, sometime when they cough they just cry. I'll be calling once the doctor's office opens and taking them both in today. I stayed home again today, no way they could be at daycare. On a higher note, I'm doing better yesterday/today. Aaron gave me and the kids some good one on one attention yesterday and we had a great day. Well, gotta get going, we have to run Mackenzie up to school. I'll try to update after dr. appts.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
It doesn't make sense.....I know
"She shoots - she SCORES!" TWO goals today!
The "Blue Lightening" team
Everyone in their soccer clothes
Check out the Mohawk - and no, I didn't do that intentionally - that is all natural!
It doesn't make sense. I have 3 of the most beautiful wonderful children who are all healthy (less the cold the boys are dealing with right now), I have a great husband who loves me so much, sure I'm stressed about not having as much money as I'd like but we do have money, a good house, and good life...and yet I sit here tonight going through uncontrollable fits of crying. I know it doesn't make sense. I know it isn't rational, but I can't change the way I feel. Today has been a crazy roller coaster. I go from one minute of being in a great mood and feeling like maybe I'm coming out of it, and then in the next minute I am in such deep despair and doing "the ugly cry". i know it is chemical/hormonal. I know it isn't a "true" representation of how I feel, but yet I can't change it. And then I just feel worse because I feel so bad and know that I shouldn't, I have nothing to be upset about, and then Aaron is so frustrated, I mean who can blame him, I don't even understand it myself, so how could he. I am only hoping that this is short lived and that my meds starting working soon. For anyone who hasn't gone through this, you may be thinking right now - Oh geesh, get over it - but then I'm sure there is at least one person out there that understands and is comforted knowing that they aren't alone. At least I'm one of the lucky people that know that this is what it is. How awful it would be to be one of the people who thought that this was unending. For those who don't know and don't understand, let me say this....it does no good to remind me how irrational it is, it does no good to act like it isn't real, it does no good to tell me how good I have it...what I need is to feel the pain, feel the sadness, feel validated, and cry to let it out.
About the boys - they are still sick, Turner still having fever - so I stayed home with them tonight while Aaron took Mackenzie to the birthday party. Turner is really bad, high fever, coughing, runny nose. And Austin is getting the bad croupy cough now too. I just heard that there are quite a few cased of whooping cough in the school district, please don't let this be what we have. I will take care of my babies, and know that I will take them to the doctor if I have any worries. The boys and I did get some good time together - went on a walk, sat outside on the blanket and chased bubbles and had a picnic. I do Love my boys!!
Sorry I've feel like I've been awful at updating lately. I've still been in the midst of a pretty good case of the funk lately. I'm still having the heart palps on a pretty frequent basis but I attribute them all to stress, don't think it is any underlying health problem or anything like that. And the problem is that I know it is completely irrational how stressed/upset I've been but I can't just snap my fingers and snap out of it. It takes time. So I just try to request extra hugs and snuggles and try to just be in the moment with the kids as much as I can. To help with some of the money stress, I am going to apply at JCPenny and Kohls for holiday help. I figure then I'll be making a little extra for spending money plus get a discount on the stuff so it will be even more helpful. I'll be turning those in this weekend, so wish me luck.
Friday I was home with the boys because Turner started running a fever on Thursday afternoon and he still has it and Austin has gotten up to a low grade fever too. Just the old cold, cough, fever. They basically feel fine when the medicine is working, it is just that last hour and until the new dose starts to kick in that Turner is just awful. Poor little guy. Today Mackenzie has a soccer game at 10:30. Caitlyn came over last night so that she could go too. It is so awesome that her and Cameron are here. I really do just love it. Cameron found a job yesterday at MrGoodscents. He is going to keep looking for something better, but at least it is something. And I came home Thursday to the dishes done, floor swept and vacuumed. He has no idea how big of a help that is. And we have a kids birthday party today too, but I'm not sure about Turner going so it may just be Aaron and Mackenzie. Tomorrow the Rams are off, so we'll probably go do something for a family fun day! I'm thinking maybe Grant's Farm, maybe the pumpkin patch? Anything will be fun.
And we did decide on the new babysitter so the kids will start there on November 10th. I'm going to pull them out of the current daycare 2 weeks prior to that so that we can go 2 weeks with no daycare cost for the boys. Just a way to save money in between the switch. So, if there are any volunteers for a day!! I have a few vacation days, Aaron can take 1, and then with Caitlyn and Cameron's help, hopefully we can pull it off. That's about all I got - time to get ready for soccer. She says she is going to score a goal today so we'll see!
Friday I was home with the boys because Turner started running a fever on Thursday afternoon and he still has it and Austin has gotten up to a low grade fever too. Just the old cold, cough, fever. They basically feel fine when the medicine is working, it is just that last hour and until the new dose starts to kick in that Turner is just awful. Poor little guy. Today Mackenzie has a soccer game at 10:30. Caitlyn came over last night so that she could go too. It is so awesome that her and Cameron are here. I really do just love it. Cameron found a job yesterday at MrGoodscents. He is going to keep looking for something better, but at least it is something. And I came home Thursday to the dishes done, floor swept and vacuumed. He has no idea how big of a help that is. And we have a kids birthday party today too, but I'm not sure about Turner going so it may just be Aaron and Mackenzie. Tomorrow the Rams are off, so we'll probably go do something for a family fun day! I'm thinking maybe Grant's Farm, maybe the pumpkin patch? Anything will be fun.
And we did decide on the new babysitter so the kids will start there on November 10th. I'm going to pull them out of the current daycare 2 weeks prior to that so that we can go 2 weeks with no daycare cost for the boys. Just a way to save money in between the switch. So, if there are any volunteers for a day!! I have a few vacation days, Aaron can take 1, and then with Caitlyn and Cameron's help, hopefully we can pull it off. That's about all I got - time to get ready for soccer. She says she is going to score a goal today so we'll see!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
OK, I'm back from the doctor. Sorry, you can't get rid of me easily. I'm healthy as a horse (are horses healthy?) and just perfect (as I'm sure you were already thinking:)). So we adjusted my mood meds because since i stopped breastfeeding it doesn't seem like mine are working anymore. Same thing happened when i got pregnant. I had been fine on my meds and then "poof", it was like all of a sudden I wasn't even taking anything. I think it has something to do with the hormone difference, like they just can't sustain themselves. Anyways, I'm going back on what I was on before I got pregnant, so I'm sure it will work. So of course as a new doctor he is asking me all of my history, and I'm telling him about the depression, and he is checking to see if it is the "your just a new mom" or "this chick is gonna run out in the middle of 40" type, and so we are going through my whole history - sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh when he asked if I thought it ran in my family!!! Nothing serious, but just need a low level dose to keep from the great valleys and on a common ground. For the heart palps, he said basically, yes it happens, but didn't see any indication to think of it as anything serious. Just one of them things. he gave me some medicine to knock this headache I've felt like I've had for the past month, ugghhh - so hopefully that will work. And we did blood draws, but I'm confident those will come back fine too. So.... your stuck with me!!
I just made an appointment for today at 11 for this heart arrhythmia I’m experiencing today. I had it 3 times on the way in to work and 3 times again in the past 40 minutes and have a tight chest, a little more than I'm comfortable waiting till Friday to have checked out. I'll try to post later today after my appt.
The past 2 weeks or so I've been searching for a new daycare. Right now the kids are at a fantastic home daycare, but it is located by my work. With my work location transitioning to a different site after the beginning of the year, I figured I needed to go ahead and start looking for someone. I had met with 2 people that were not at all what we were looking for, but last night I think we may have met our match. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't find out she was a serial killer or anything! And she lives in our school district, so that would mean that Mackenzie would be able to ride the bus to/from her house next year for kindergarten. I'm not counting my chickens yet, but at least I have hope. As anyone knows, finding care for your children is such a stressful thing. And it is especially hard because I wish that it could just be me. It always brings to the forefront how much time they will be there compared to how much time they are at our house. I can't even think about it, gets to be too badly. BUT, I do believe I'm a better mom for having to work, and my kids are probably better kids for having to go to Nany's. If I had been able to be a stay at home mom when Mackenzie was born, I don't think I would have been able to fully appreciate it. Life takes turns that we don't necessarily think we want it to, but then it all works out. There is a bigger plan and I have to trust in that and just go with it.
Things are still going good with my brother living with us. I really truely enjoy having him around. He is still putting in applications and folllowing up with places, but nothing has turned out yet. I'm sure it will soon though. Turner still continues to call him "Boy", it is so darn cute. Turner just absolutely LOVES uncle Cameron. I love that the kids will have these memories of Caitlyn and Cameron staying with us. It will bond them. I just asked Cameron the other day to promise me that when Turner is a teenager, and I'm "the stupid mom who doesn't have a clue", that he please guide him down the right path!!!! See it is like an early investment to make sure my brothers and sisters get on the right path themselves, because I know that there will come a time in my life when they are much more influencial on my children than I can be.
Aaron has been sick the past two days. The doctor said she was pretty sure he has streph. He hasn't hardly been able to eat or drink anything. I can tell it really hurts him. Mackenzie stayed home yesterday with him because the night before she had come in to our room in the middle of the night crying that her ear hurt (flashback to my childhood!), so I wanted her to go to the doctor to see how bad it was. The doctor said she does have a minor ear infection, but wanted to see if it would clear up on its own before treating with antibiotics since Mackenzie wasn't complaining anymore that it hurt. Last night she did fine, this morning she was saying that her throat and ear hurt a little (but I hae sneaky suspicions she was trying to just stay home again), but I went ahead and gave her a little Ibuprofen and Benadryll to help with the discomfort. Turner of course then being the copycat, decided that his ear hurt, but you know that after just a dropper full of water that it was all better!! Who knew!! LOL
I've been having a little bit a heart arrhythmia/murmur thing over the past few days. I've always felt it here or there, but it has been really noticeable over the past couple days. Like that feeling you get if you were standing right in front of a big bass drum when it was hit. Just tightening in my chest, causes me to catch my breath. So I called my dad this morning because he has a heart murmur. Don't know if that would be genetic or not, but he said that they don't do anything to treat it, and that it is fine. I have a doctor's appt on Friday to meet with a new primary care (now that I don't foresee having an OB for my regular doc) and I'll mention it to him, but I'm not worried about it being anything that I need to worry about until then. My dad said that stress makes it worse, hmmmm.....wonder if that applies here!
Can you believe it is already October!!
Things are still going good with my brother living with us. I really truely enjoy having him around. He is still putting in applications and folllowing up with places, but nothing has turned out yet. I'm sure it will soon though. Turner still continues to call him "Boy", it is so darn cute. Turner just absolutely LOVES uncle Cameron. I love that the kids will have these memories of Caitlyn and Cameron staying with us. It will bond them. I just asked Cameron the other day to promise me that when Turner is a teenager, and I'm "the stupid mom who doesn't have a clue", that he please guide him down the right path!!!! See it is like an early investment to make sure my brothers and sisters get on the right path themselves, because I know that there will come a time in my life when they are much more influencial on my children than I can be.
Aaron has been sick the past two days. The doctor said she was pretty sure he has streph. He hasn't hardly been able to eat or drink anything. I can tell it really hurts him. Mackenzie stayed home yesterday with him because the night before she had come in to our room in the middle of the night crying that her ear hurt (flashback to my childhood!), so I wanted her to go to the doctor to see how bad it was. The doctor said she does have a minor ear infection, but wanted to see if it would clear up on its own before treating with antibiotics since Mackenzie wasn't complaining anymore that it hurt. Last night she did fine, this morning she was saying that her throat and ear hurt a little (but I hae sneaky suspicions she was trying to just stay home again), but I went ahead and gave her a little Ibuprofen and Benadryll to help with the discomfort. Turner of course then being the copycat, decided that his ear hurt, but you know that after just a dropper full of water that it was all better!! Who knew!! LOL
I've been having a little bit a heart arrhythmia/murmur thing over the past few days. I've always felt it here or there, but it has been really noticeable over the past couple days. Like that feeling you get if you were standing right in front of a big bass drum when it was hit. Just tightening in my chest, causes me to catch my breath. So I called my dad this morning because he has a heart murmur. Don't know if that would be genetic or not, but he said that they don't do anything to treat it, and that it is fine. I have a doctor's appt on Friday to meet with a new primary care (now that I don't foresee having an OB for my regular doc) and I'll mention it to him, but I'm not worried about it being anything that I need to worry about until then. My dad said that stress makes it worse, hmmmm.....wonder if that applies here!
Can you believe it is already October!!
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