Friends

Sean and Austin!

Look who found the pots and pans cabinet! Seems like I have a kitchen "helper" on my hands now!! (Those spots all over him are drool...nice huh!)

Last night Fran and the kids came over. We had such a great time. Our kids love each other so much, they really are like cousins. The kids had a blast. Austin and Sean were checking each other out. And I was happy to have my good friend around me again.

(Pre)-Kindergarten Pictures

I was SOOOO excited when Mackenzie took out her school pictures the other day. Literally, I screeched and was jumping up and down. When Aaron got home I asked him if he wanted to see something that would make hm forget all his worries and smile ear to ear. He replied with "what did we win the lottery". Yes we did! I mean come on, aren't these the BEST school pictures ever?! How do I pic? And doesn't she look SOO grown up.



So then I had my mom send through a pic of me at about the same age. I know some people thinks she looks like me, but I just don't see it.


Unrelated story....but today we woke up to there being a man-hunt right around our neighborhood. He had wrecked his car on the highway near our exit. Don't know if they've caught the guy yet or not, but we are all safe. Mackenzie's school was closed today though, so she got to go to Nany's. So we are explaining to her what happened, that there is a bad man hiding from the police and they are trying to find him - so her rational was that she bets that guy was "just mad or sad because he didn't have parents who loved him". She is probably right, but gosh I love the view of the world through a 4 (and a half!) year old's eyes.

Back to work

Hmmmm...as I write the title to this post that seems like such an oxymoron statement. When did I stop working.....well, maybe i should have put, "Back to the office". So Turner did not have a fever yesterday, Austin broke his overnight. Both are still coughing something horrible, but they are at daycare. I keep thinking Austin is going to make himself throw up from coughing so bad, and Turner has broken blood vessels around his eyes from coughing so hard. Poor whittle guys:( But it is getting a little better day by day. I'm actually feeling alright today. I can feel that hint of a cold back there, but I'll try to keep it at bay.
Gosh, so what else is going on in our lives...yesterday I changed Mackenzie's room around, put the crib in Turner's room. Then put the TV/DVD player from our room in to her room. I'm hoping that this will get them sleeping in her room/bed more often and with Austin being in the other room we don't have to worry about waking him up. So last night they went to bed in there ok, but were still crawling in to our bed at 3. I know, I should just pick them up and take them back to bed, and it would probably only take a few nights and they would get it and probably get better sleep, but shhh, don't tell anyone, but it is a little of a guilty pleasure of mine (ours) to snuggle up to those little bodies at night. Of course when they are pushing me off my own pillow and I'm hanging on to the side of the bed by a thread I'm not so thrilled - but Aaron and I already know we are pushovers on the issue. Oh well, whatcha gonna do?
I also ran into the library yesterday and got this book. Think it will help??!!!

The boys went to the doctor's today. Seems it is just a really bad cold. Good news that it is nothing serious, but hard to know that there isn't anything or any medicine to give them to help them feel better. We were just sent home to ride it out. Turner did stop his fever today. Austin started his about 18 hours after Turner, so he is a little behind, so Austin still has a fever, but I'm hoping it is ready to break soon. But he sounds and looks so awful. I just want to cry every time he coughs, it sounds so horrible and I can tell that he is so uncomfortable.
Of course by the end of the afternoon, I started feeling like I'm starting to come down with it. But I loaded myself up with meds and feel alright right now. We'll see how tomorrow goes. But since I've taken off for sick kiddos, no taking off for myself to be sick. That is the life of a mom.
It was a very busy day today. Stay tuned tomorrow to see how everyone is doing.

Still Sick

The boys are still sick, have an awful cough, runny noses, still having fever (yes it's been since Thurs/Friday). It is so sad, sometime when they cough they just cry. I'll be calling once the doctor's office opens and taking them both in today. I stayed home again today, no way they could be at daycare. On a higher note, I'm doing better yesterday/today. Aaron gave me and the kids some good one on one attention yesterday and we had a great day. Well, gotta get going, we have to run Mackenzie up to school. I'll try to update after dr. appts.

It doesn't make sense.....I know

"She shoots - she SCORES!" TWO goals today!

The "Blue Lightening" team

Everyone in their soccer clothes

Check out the Mohawk - and no, I didn't do that intentionally - that is all natural!


It doesn't make sense. I have 3 of the most beautiful wonderful children who are all healthy (less the cold the boys are dealing with right now), I have a great husband who loves me so much, sure I'm stressed about not having as much money as I'd like but we do have money, a good house, and good life...and yet I sit here tonight going through uncontrollable fits of crying. I know it doesn't make sense. I know it isn't rational, but I can't change the way I feel. Today has been a crazy roller coaster. I go from one minute of being in a great mood and feeling like maybe I'm coming out of it, and then in the next minute I am in such deep despair and doing "the ugly cry". i know it is chemical/hormonal. I know it isn't a "true" representation of how I feel, but yet I can't change it. And then I just feel worse because I feel so bad and know that I shouldn't, I have nothing to be upset about, and then Aaron is so frustrated, I mean who can blame him, I don't even understand it myself, so how could he. I am only hoping that this is short lived and that my meds starting working soon. For anyone who hasn't gone through this, you may be thinking right now - Oh geesh, get over it - but then I'm sure there is at least one person out there that understands and is comforted knowing that they aren't alone. At least I'm one of the lucky people that know that this is what it is. How awful it would be to be one of the people who thought that this was unending. For those who don't know and don't understand, let me say this....it does no good to remind me how irrational it is, it does no good to act like it isn't real, it does no good to tell me how good I have it...what I need is to feel the pain, feel the sadness, feel validated, and cry to let it out.

About the boys - they are still sick, Turner still having fever - so I stayed home with them tonight while Aaron took Mackenzie to the birthday party. Turner is really bad, high fever, coughing, runny nose. And Austin is getting the bad croupy cough now too. I just heard that there are quite a few cased of whooping cough in the school district, please don't let this be what we have. I will take care of my babies, and know that I will take them to the doctor if I have any worries. The boys and I did get some good time together - went on a walk, sat outside on the blanket and chased bubbles and had a picnic. I do Love my boys!!

Sorry I've feel like I've been awful at updating lately. I've still been in the midst of a pretty good case of the funk lately. I'm still having the heart palps on a pretty frequent basis but I attribute them all to stress, don't think it is any underlying health problem or anything like that. And the problem is that I know it is completely irrational how stressed/upset I've been but I can't just snap my fingers and snap out of it. It takes time. So I just try to request extra hugs and snuggles and try to just be in the moment with the kids as much as I can. To help with some of the money stress, I am going to apply at JCPenny and Kohls for holiday help. I figure then I'll be making a little extra for spending money plus get a discount on the stuff so it will be even more helpful. I'll be turning those in this weekend, so wish me luck.
Friday I was home with the boys because Turner started running a fever on Thursday afternoon and he still has it and Austin has gotten up to a low grade fever too. Just the old cold, cough, fever. They basically feel fine when the medicine is working, it is just that last hour and until the new dose starts to kick in that Turner is just awful. Poor little guy. Today Mackenzie has a soccer game at 10:30. Caitlyn came over last night so that she could go too. It is so awesome that her and Cameron are here. I really do just love it. Cameron found a job yesterday at MrGoodscents. He is going to keep looking for something better, but at least it is something. And I came home Thursday to the dishes done, floor swept and vacuumed. He has no idea how big of a help that is. And we have a kids birthday party today too, but I'm not sure about Turner going so it may just be Aaron and Mackenzie. Tomorrow the Rams are off, so we'll probably go do something for a family fun day! I'm thinking maybe Grant's Farm, maybe the pumpkin patch? Anything will be fun.
And we did decide on the new babysitter so the kids will start there on November 10th. I'm going to pull them out of the current daycare 2 weeks prior to that so that we can go 2 weeks with no daycare cost for the boys. Just a way to save money in between the switch. So, if there are any volunteers for a day!! I have a few vacation days, Aaron can take 1, and then with Caitlyn and Cameron's help, hopefully we can pull it off. That's about all I got - time to get ready for soccer. She says she is going to score a goal today so we'll see!