Good-bye Nany

Well, tonight is the last time I will be picking the kids up from Nany's house. I'm sure I will be blubbering idiot when i leave. It will be hard. This is the letter I have written to her.

Nany,

I’m attempting to write you this letter to let you know just how thankful I am for finding you 3 years ago, but I’m sure it won’t fully capture my true appreciation and admiration. It is so sad to me that we have to change the boys, and I hope that you truly know it is a change of necessity, not of choice or due to any other reason than my work location changing. And I am sorry that I had to move up the timeline from March, but there is SO much uncertainty in my job right now, that at any moment they could move me and when I found this new babysitter, I felt comfortable and knew that I would be confident in my choice.

You have been much more to me and my family over the past 3 years than JUST a babysitter. You have been there with us through monumental times in our lives, and for that you will always be associated with our memories of these past years. During times when we haven’t had much family around, you have been there for me to talk to when I’ve needed to talk, to reassure me when I’ve doubted myself, and offer advice when I was unsure.

In the past three years, I’ve been able to go to work each day knowing that my children were in good hands. That they were being not only taken care of, but loved. It is truly the greatest gift you could have ever given me. I do not take that lightly. I’ve often replied to the compliments I get on the children that their behavior and politeness are much more due to your doing than mine. But in the same, it has given me the ability to let my guard down more at home and enjoy them. (I didn’t feel quite so bad having to give the kids cereal for dinner some night when I was too exhausted to cook because I knew they had had a good warm meal at your house.)

You’ve seen many kids come and go over the years, kids will come in that will replace us, and we are only a speck in list of kids you’ve seen throughout the years, but you are our ONLY Nany. We may be one of hundreds, but you are one of only a select few people I will entrust my children to throughout our lives. You have become part of our family, whether you knew it or not, and you will forever be.

I hope that today is not an end to this relationship. Although we won’t see each other every day, and the relationship will inevitably change, I hope we keep in touch. Maybe some night we can come up and take you to dinner. (Mackenzie was asking again last night when you two were going to have your special dinner together – I hope that can still be done – she will never forget J )

I heard this CD playing in the store last night and thought it was such beautiful music. So relaxing and comforting, emulating the same feelings that I associate with your house. There were many times that I wished I could have gotten to stay and lay on your couch! Thank you so much Nany….we love you!

The Lively’s - 2008
Aaron, Jennifer, Mackenzie, Turner and Austin

We will all miss Nany dearly. But I am confident in my new choice for babysitter and am ready to start the next chapter. We are keeping the kids home for the next 2 weeks, and they start with Ms. Mistie on the 10th.

My blast from the past

Ok, so the other day I’m on a quad site that I follow and low and behold they mention Bishop Carrol HS – wow what a throwback! I went there the first half of my freshman year. So I had to email to see if it was the same one, she emailed back sure enough. I think they are a year or two younger than me, so probably class of 98 or 99. Which got me thinking, wonder about Jenny and Josh and what ever happened with them. They were a couple, she was around 6 months prego when we met (I know shocker right, that I befriend the prego chick! LOL) I don’t know why, but I’ve thought about them quite a bit over the past few years. Sure we didn’t know each other for long, but we were together like every day for that time! But I’ve never really looked for them. SO yesterday I’m driving home and talking to my mom about it all and suddenly their last names came to me from out of nowhere – seriously. So she did a quick search and WhaLa - we found them both.
These are pictures on here to share with Jenny. Oh how I wish digital cameras had been around then so we could have seen how these turned out and did some retakes!!

Jenny, Josh, and their baby Justin.

This was homecoming that year. I thought I was in heaven! I thought he was the most handsome guy in school and he asked ME - the new girl! It was my first "date". He was a Junior and 16, so he picked me up in his car and we drove to the dance.

Here today, gone tomorrow

Wow, this title could mean so many things. In its simplest form, it means I'm hear today at work, but tomorrow won't be for the morning. My babysitter called yesterday and said she has some "emergency" that she has to go to tomorrow morning at 9. I have no idea. It has been hard because she doesn't even talk to me now that we are leaving. Someone I've brought in to our family for the past 3 years, she has been like a grandparent to my kids, and they will never forget "Nany" and yet she is pushing us away. It feels very personal and has been very hard on me emotionally.
In another way it could mean, here today at work, but who knows if I'll be here tomorrow. Who knows what this place has in store for us. Who knows if I'll have a job in a few months, or even tomorrow. This is the first time in my life I've felt like I've been in this position and it is so scary. But to gain some resemblance of having control over the situation, I did sit down and look at where we would be financially if I actually am let go. Basically, I would pull the kids out of any daycare, try to get 2 more kids to watch during the day, and get a part-time job outside of the house for another 30 hours a week, we would be ok. At least I know we could do it. At least I feel like we have some sort of plan B to turn on.
And worst case it is a reminder that we are all here today but may be gone tomorrow. Don't take any day for granted. You know me, a blog stalker, we'll the other day I was reading up on one of the blogs I follow, and followed over to a new blog from that page, and came across the blog of a family with a 7 year old boy, 5 year old boy and twin girls age 2. She had started the blog about a year ago, and it was just normal day to day stuff, just like I write about here. Yet, in August they found out completely out of the blue that one of the twins has neuroblastoma. And I guess I just kind of take that as a sign. Neouroblastoma has affected my life in so many ways, all remote ways, but it just keeps coming up. I know it is a sign for me. Anyways, it is the reminder of my greatest fear, that today I could be writing about how great the kids are and we are all doing great, and tomorrow's post could be something that was so horrible and horrific and in just that amount of time, our worlds could change. So, for everyone reading today, take the minute, if you are with your kids right now, call them over and give them all a hug and tell them how proud you are of them and how much you love them, call your husband at work, email and old friend, text your teenager out of nowhere that you love them. Do something in the moment, because we never know when this moment will end. And for that little girl, her name is Tuesday, and so they ask for prayers on Tuesday for Tuesday. So please pray for this little girl, I'm sure they will take prayers from strangers all the same.

Finally

Austin 'giving away my snuggles'


Mackenzie so proud of her medal for soccer.


Token Grant's Farm family pic - 2008


Turner brave enough to go inside and feed the goats.


Then Mackenzie got brave enough too.


"Hmmm mom, I though those bottles were for me."


Me and my big kids on the way out.

We FINALLY made it to Grant's Farm this weekend!! Austin's first trip. We got there right in time for the animal show, then fed the goats, hit the elephant show and then it was time to leave.... Perfect. It is by far my favorite place to go with the kids, it's not too long, not too much of a commitment for the day, and cheap (well free, but pay to park). I do have to say though, i think this was the first time I've ever been there and not gotten my two free beers. Friday night we hung out with our neighbors and the vodka crept up on me. Then I was up at 6 to make breakfast and go to Mackenzie's soccer game - where she just happened to score 2 goals again! - and then we came home, changed the kiddos, and left. I wasn't feeling so great, so I laid back in my seat. Ended up having to have Aaron pull over on the side of the highway. It took some self control on Aaron's part I'm sure not get out the camera and get paybacks on me! LOL But we had a great time at Grant's farm, that place just puts you in a good mood no matter what. I almost started crying looking at the my life while we were there, you know when it just hits in you a wave sometimes and you think - wow I have a good life. I look at my beautiful kids, and a husband that loves me, and even though we have stressors, we've got it good - we do know that.


Today Mackenzie and I went to church, I came home and mowed the yard, and then went out searching for jobs again. Hopefully something will come through for the holiday season. Other than that just a half dozen loads of laundry and some "spring" cleaning and that was about it. Austin did start running a fever tonight, figures. I'm hoping that it is gone by morning and he will be ok to go to the babysitters.

Back to work

Yesterday I came in for 1/2 day in the morning before Cameron had to go to work since the kids had to stay home again since Mackenzie couldn't go back to school since she had to be fever free for 24 hours. But they weren't running any fevers yesterday. It was weird, her fever spiked at noon the day before at 104, but then was gone by nighttime. Who knows. Today I'm back at work, just hoping I don't get any calls that the fever has come back. Austin never got it thank goodness.
This weekend we have gymnastics and 2 soccer games. Poor girl is going to be pooped! But this is the last weekend of soccer. We are planning to go to Grant's Farm tomorrow, and either this weekend or next still need to hit a pumpkin patch.
Some things I want to write for my own memory of Turner right now....he constantly carries around his 9 piece Diego puzzle and probably does it on average 100 times a day! Maybe we should get him more puzzles, he is really in to it right now, but then he would probably still want the same one. Lately when I'm changing him, he'll lean in to me and put his arms around my neck in a big bear hug and say "I love my mommy" and I return "I love my Turner". And man do I, he just makes me melt. Anytime you do something for him, he says "Thankome" (Thank you / welcome). Guess he figures it works which ever end he is on! And the funniest thing is that right now he is doing this funny southern drawl "YeahYa" for saying yes. Don't know where he got that from, but it is hilarious. Just some memories I want to make sure I never loose.

Home again

I was at work and got 2 phone calls within 1 minute of each other...both Turner and Mackenzie are running fevers. Mackenzie has to be fever free for 24 hours, so there is no way she can go back to school tomorrow. I don't know what we are going to do, guess I'll be home again. Not really any other options. I just hate that all this sickness comes at a time that work is so unstable. I worry about it, that it will look like I don''t have the level of commitment or something. But the facts are that Aaron has appointments that would have to be cancelled and we don't really get paid if he doesn't sell, and I can still work from home. We have 2 weeks at the end of the month that I'm going to be out some too because we will be in between babysitters. Ughhhh....oh well, it will work out. Any ideas? Mom, will you be able to come up for a day in those weeks to babysit one day so I can go in to work???

9 Month Stats

Saturday morning we split up, Aaron (and Aunt Caitlyn) took Mackenzie to her soccer game, where she scored 2 goals!, and I took the boys with me to go to Austin's 9 month checkup.
He isn't really that big. Here are his stats:
Height: 28 1/4 inches (50%)
Weight: 21 lbs 9 oz (75%)
Head Circumference: 18 1/4 inches (90%)
He got 2 shots, and Turner got his flu shot. Those all went well.


Then we came home and dropped the kids off with Caitlyn and headed out to the winery to meet up with somebody that Aaron works with. I stayed sober since I knew I had to drive us home, Aaron on the other hand didn't! I felt sorry for him the whole way home as he was hanging out the window, but was laughing all the way. Needless to say Aaron + red wine =