3 Months Old

I can't believe my little guy turned 3 months old yesterday...where has the time gone. Seems time just flies by these days. I know he is going to be graduating from high school before I know it. I think a lot about what our future holds for us. Will I ever really be able to accept that my kids are grown, or will I always remember them as the 2 year old making their first trip to the ER, or the 4 year old that sits on my lap and snuggles. When Mackenzie grows up and goes to college, will I see a grown girl or the 4 year old walking in to pre-K? I just know I am going to be sitting there hearing and seeing these adult things, but to me they will always be my babies. Of course we have many years and so many defining moments in their lives, I just wish i could bottle up this time and be able to come back and revisit it whenever I want. If Austin truly ended up being our last, what will I do now that I will never again have a 3 month old baby, to never again see that first smile or hear that first "goooo". I know there are plenty of first in our future, but what do you do when you have your last "first"??????
Austin is such a wonderful baby. I still can't get over how much joy he has brought in to our family and how well he just fits in. I guess it was always meant to be. These days he is smiling, you know, the full body smile that is just priceless. And any time i go to change his onesie he full body laughs. Guess I must be tickling him. He just sits back and takes it all in and he doesn't just give away those smiles and laughs easily. he has started talking more, but isn't a jabber jaws by any means. he is an observer, much like Mackenzie. Hasn't started really trying to play or bat at any toys, just likes to stare at them. I don't get too much time with him anymore now that I'm back at work, but I try to have a few moments each night where I really just sit and take him all in. I'm glad that he is still breastfeeding because that is such special time. Of course there are those times when I'm holding him and feeding while I'm trying to sweep the floor one handed or am getting dinner ready, but we have quiet times too. He normally goes to sleep about 8:30-9, and is still waking up once (or last night twice) a night. But I'm ok with it, it is our special time. I'll miss it when it is gone. He is still sleeping in his bassinet and I have it in our walk-in closet. I wanted to move him a little further from me so I didn't wake up so easily to him, but just can't bring myself to move him in to Mackenzie's room just yet. I think once I get a monitor that works I'll be able to do it, but neither of my monitors work, one doesn't pick anything up and the other is so static I can't sleep with it on. That's ok though, I like having him close. Maybe if I keep him in there he won't grow up???!!