Done trying

Today I'm so tired, tired of trying.
Tired of trying to lose weight,
Tired of trying to get tan,
Tired of trying to keep the house clean,
Tired of trying to figure out what to do for dinner,
Tired of trying to make the kids eat,
Tired of trying to find the time,
Tired of trying to go on vacation,
Tired of trying to better myself,
Tired of trying to better others,
Tired of trying to talk people into wanting to be around us,
Tired of trying to be enough....

So today, I'm too tired, so I quit. I quit trying. Aren't the things that should be, just be? Shouldn't I not have to really "try" for everything?

So today, I will be fat without a tan, sitting in messy house with the mirage of a vacation on the horizon and the kids might eat candy for dinner. That is all fine, we will all survive, we will be together. But if I stop trying on people will they all go away. Will the kids and I end up sitting here alone, together, in our own world. Is it better to have to try to not be alone, or be alone without the hassle of trying? Is that better or worse. Is it better to keep trying or to stop, or am I just worried what will happen if I stop. Will other people try if I stop trying?

So now I'm just going to have to try to stop trying - and I don't know if I can even do that.