Just like me

Yesterday we had soccer practice and in that hour it was like I was watching myself out there.....and i could feel the insecurity that Mackenzie was experiencing. It is very hard to know exactly what she is going through and not be able to fix it for her, but I'm sure this is one of many times I'll feel that exact same feeling.
As anyone who knows Mackenzie knows that she has soft feelings and is shy. She LOVES playing soccer with daddy and so I think we were expecting her to just go out there and go for it, but not so much. She is very reserved about playing and would probably be happy to just sit on the sidelines and watch every practice and game. This is where the similarity in us begins. Sports and games are all fun when they are just fun, as soon as there is competition involved and more importantly the risk that we may not do everything perfectly, we'd rather just sit and watch. I'll go out and shoot hoops all day long, but ask me to play 1 on 1, not a chance. So Mackenzie kept making excuses of why she "couldn't" play...she was hungry, cold, etc. At first Aaron got upset with her and pulled the old - ok we'll just go home then. Then he said, I just don't know what to do... and that is when I saw myself out on the field. I told him, just keep telling her how great she is doing. I figure more than any skill she needs right now, more importantly she needs the reassurance that she is doing great. So even when she kicked the ball to the wrong goal, we praised her for finally going in for the kick. Hopefully this will work for her. I would hate for her to limit herself to what she will try out of fear of not reaching perfection. Even with me knowing that this is what holds me back, I can't change it.
I think that this is a trait that I will always admire in Turner. He is one that will get bored with what he is good at and always be trying to perfect what he "can't" do. He is fearless.

Soccer game, well kind of

We've been looking forward to this past weekend for quite some time...it was Mackenzie's first soccer game! Aaron was more nervous and excited than Mackenzie I think. Unfortunately the weather didn't cooperate. We have only been able to have 1 practice that was cut short by the rain, then on Saturday it was SOOO cold it was miserable being out there. Wouldn't have been quite so bad if the wind hadn't been howling through. I had to keep the boys in the car and Aaron stayed out with Mackenzie. She played for about half the time then just wanted to sit in the chair with the blanket on. I don't blame her, I mean it was REALLY cold out there. She was pretty reserved while playing, guess Aaron said she went after the ball once and got knocked down and from then on pretty much just walked around beside Aaron. I'm sure things will change once she actually gets to meet the kids on her team and get some more practice.
So I am SOOOO done with this weather. It snowed both days this weekend. Saturday there were flurries out at soccer and then yesterday BIG flurries were coming down in the morning and then small hail/sleet in the afternoon. I really need some sun, this weather has got me in a funk.

Here are the kids playing their instruments. I love Turner's face while he plays! A lot of times he plays with just his pull-up on and I think it is SOO cute. My rock and roll stars!!

I almost caught his smile in this picture. I weighed Austin again this mornign and he is still right at 15 pounds. I think he is starting to stretch out some more too. Guess we'll see in another month when he has his next checkup.

This was Mackenzie and Turner last night. They love to watch American Idol. Mackenzie got a little camera shy once I got the camera. Don't you just love the hair flip! then you see Turner get up on the fireplace. This is pretty common for him, it is his stage. eh gets up there and sings away and dances then jumps off the stage. Can't tell a lick of what he is saying usually, but it sure is cute and he definitly knows what he is saying. My future rocker. Oh and Mackenzie being shirtless...this wasn't part of the performance, just caught her while getting ready for bed! Don't know why it kept going blurry and was so dark- that darn camera.

3 Months Old

I can't believe my little guy turned 3 months old yesterday...where has the time gone. Seems time just flies by these days. I know he is going to be graduating from high school before I know it. I think a lot about what our future holds for us. Will I ever really be able to accept that my kids are grown, or will I always remember them as the 2 year old making their first trip to the ER, or the 4 year old that sits on my lap and snuggles. When Mackenzie grows up and goes to college, will I see a grown girl or the 4 year old walking in to pre-K? I just know I am going to be sitting there hearing and seeing these adult things, but to me they will always be my babies. Of course we have many years and so many defining moments in their lives, I just wish i could bottle up this time and be able to come back and revisit it whenever I want. If Austin truly ended up being our last, what will I do now that I will never again have a 3 month old baby, to never again see that first smile or hear that first "goooo". I know there are plenty of first in our future, but what do you do when you have your last "first"??????
Austin is such a wonderful baby. I still can't get over how much joy he has brought in to our family and how well he just fits in. I guess it was always meant to be. These days he is smiling, you know, the full body smile that is just priceless. And any time i go to change his onesie he full body laughs. Guess I must be tickling him. He just sits back and takes it all in and he doesn't just give away those smiles and laughs easily. he has started talking more, but isn't a jabber jaws by any means. he is an observer, much like Mackenzie. Hasn't started really trying to play or bat at any toys, just likes to stare at them. I don't get too much time with him anymore now that I'm back at work, but I try to have a few moments each night where I really just sit and take him all in. I'm glad that he is still breastfeeding because that is such special time. Of course there are those times when I'm holding him and feeding while I'm trying to sweep the floor one handed or am getting dinner ready, but we have quiet times too. He normally goes to sleep about 8:30-9, and is still waking up once (or last night twice) a night. But I'm ok with it, it is our special time. I'll miss it when it is gone. He is still sleeping in his bassinet and I have it in our walk-in closet. I wanted to move him a little further from me so I didn't wake up so easily to him, but just can't bring myself to move him in to Mackenzie's room just yet. I think once I get a monitor that works I'll be able to do it, but neither of my monitors work, one doesn't pick anything up and the other is so static I can't sleep with it on. That's ok though, I like having him close. Maybe if I keep him in there he won't grow up???!!

Busy Weekend

Such a busy weekend, but we had fun. So Friday night after work we headed straight to gymnastics. It was a day where we could go in the gym with the girls and take pictures. Mackenzie was so excited to have us right there with her and was showing off all of her tricks. She advanced from Preschool level to the Beginner level!!! We were so proud of her. My camera sucks so we didn't get really any good pictures, and our video camera died about 5 minutes in, but we at least got some. Fran watched Turner for us so we could both go in, even though I know she felt awful, so thanks Aunt Fran. That night when i picked Turner up, Becca came over to our house for a sleepover with mackenzie. They had a great time and played really well together. Poor Turner just wants to be right there with them and has a hard time understanding when they want to do something by themselves, but he had a great time too and they let him play right along most of the time.


Saturday morning we got up and the kids were all around playing. I hadn't slept too good since I kept dreaming and waking up thinking and stressing about what we were going to about this whole van thing. Then I got the girls in the bathtub in my room and then Turner got in with them. He was doing his thing that I've yelled at him MULTIPLE times about where he gets up on the side of the bath and slides down in to the water. Well, this time he hit the faucet and busted his eye....so we had Turner's first trip tot he ER. Can't believe he made it this long. He ended up not needing any stitches, just glue, and it was kind of a nice time because he wasn't crying from it being hurt and it wasn't bleeding bad so we weren't in a panic, but it was just me and my little boy getting some one on one time with lots of good snuggles. He can make me crazy sometimes, but he is so darn cute and adorable.

So after the ER, we got home and Cheri came over. She had said that she would stay with Turner while we went to look for a car if we needed, and by gosh we weren't going to let that offer go by! So Aaron and I and Austin went out to look for a new van. The guy I have been working with called right before we were leaving that a van I had wanted to look at had just gotten on their lot from the detail shop. So we drove straight there and fell in LOVE with our new van. It is a KIA Sedona and we LOVE it. It is the same body style as the Odyssey. The back windows roll down, has a DVD player, tow package on it, and SO MUCH room inside. I really like it more every time I drive it. It is so different than the normal mini-van. So we got a great deal on that and now have a vehicle that is bumper to bumper covered until 100,000 miles!! I haven't taken pictures yet, had to download the ones off my camera to make room, so I'll have some soon. Cheri, we couldn't thank you enough. It took a LONG time to get in to the financing guy since they were so busy, so we took up Cheri's whole day, but I can't imagine how much worse it would have been with Turner and Mackenzie having to be there waiting with us.

Saturday night my sister Caitlyn came up, so Aaron and ran out to do grocery shopping once the kids were ready for bed. Wooowhoo, man we are old. We have a babysitter so we go grocery shopping at 9 on a Saturday night....how life changes! We actually were thinking of stopping at the bar for a drink or two but Aaron felt awful, he has some cold/sinus/flu/allergy thing, and so he was ready to go straight to bed.

Sunday we got up and got ready and left all the kids with my sister while we went out to brunch with Aaron's cousins and Aunt & Uncle for his Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. It was such a wonderful time. We took a limo to the Ritz and had a brunch that was amazing. Thank you SO much Chris for including us in such a special time. We can't thank you enough. And it was wonderful to have some adult time together. Once we got home I let the kids play outside for a while and then it was on to bath time and getting ready for bed. And thank you to my sister Caitlyn, you are the best and I don't know what we would do without you!!

We had so much going on I don't feel like I ever stopped this weekend, but everything was positive. I'm SO glad to have the van stuff taken care of, it was causing me so much stress and wasting so much energy worrying about it.

I know, long time, no type. Sorry been a crazy week. Work is fine. Have to buy a new van - will have one by end of tomorrow. Here is a cute pic that Mackenzie took. Everyone is doing great.

1st Day back to work

The baptism went great this weekend. We had a great show of family. It was a long time being at church though and Turner got a little wild, but hey, he's 2 and we were there for over 2 1/2 hours - couldn't blame the poor guy. One nice thing about those catholic churches though, pretty much everyone is used to there being lots of kids around!

With his godparents.

Got my picture CDs back from my mom so now I have comparison shots of Austin with Mackenzie and Turner at this age. Who do you think he looks more like now?

Austin - he was sleeping, but this was the best close-up from lately

Mackenzie 3 months old

Turner 3 months old

Today is my first day back. Everything is going ok. Mackenzie got sick on the way to the babysitters this morning so Aaron is at home with her. I hate not being able to be there with her, but Aaron said she seems fine, so maybe she just got a little car sick or something. No fever or anything, so that is good. This morning went good. I had gotten everything together last night, so just trying to stay organized and on top of everything is going to be important.